Tori and Thea Pt 3&4

The following is just an excerpt from a story I'm working on - but not much right now. So if you don't like reading a story that isn't finished - that doesn't have an ending yet, then don't read this story. HA!
=====PART 3
"Good morning" Tori said entering the dining room. Thea nodded and took the seat beside her. Isabel placed platters of breakfast goodies on the table and retreated into the kitchen.

"Did everyone rest well?" Clara asked from her place at the head of the table. She looked as though she had not slept at all. Her eyes were red.

Indistinguishable replies floated in the air amidst the aroma of bacon, eggs and coffee. The breakfast group ate in silence except to reply to Clara's questions. Several times Thea caught different ones watching her. An attractive woman, she was use to being stared at, but this time she doubted the looks had much to do with her features. Clara only had eyes for her granddaughter. Tori, eating only a bowl of bran cereal, finished about the same time as Thea. Usually a non-breakfast eater, Thea had half a grapefruit and a cup of coffee. After leaving the table they went down toward a garden. Strolling along with Thea's arm through her's, Tori left the footpath and walked toward a huge tree.

"This use to be my favorite spot in the whole garden. This tree is over a hundred years old. During the summer, when I wasn't playing ball, I would spend hours laying under this old tree reading and daydreaming. My clothes had as much grass stains as the boy's who played football in the field on the other side of those hedges. Grandfather had that bench put here for me but I liked the ground. He gave me an African blanket from his den. It was one he rarely took out of the plastic see-thru wrapping. But he gave it to me."

"You loved him very much didn't you? Three of my grandparents I don't even remember. I was close to my mother's mother before she passed" Thea said watching Tori who stood with her back against the old tree. She saw Tori's jaw tighten and her eyes mist. Tori glanced up at a bird whistling overhead and took a deep breath. Her eyes cleared and her jaw relaxed.

Thea knew why Tori was estranged from her family, but there was obviously more to it than what little she did know. Tori seldom spoke about her past and when she did, it was only of a fond childhood memory. Shortly after they had begun to date, she'd asked Tori about her family. Tori had shrugged and said she didn't have any. Later, after they had moved in
together, Tori confessed that she hadn't seen her family in years. Tori, while loving and romantic, could be very closed-mouthed when she was upset. She wasn't good at sharing her thoughts about anything negative. Thea looked toward the big house and wondered what, if anything, could be done to ease the hurt that she knew Tori was feeling but would never voice. Usually a carefree and warm person, Tori had become sedate and seemed to have an invisible weight on her shoulders since their arrival here. Though friendly enough with Louise and Mona, Thea knowing Tori, thought the woman was holding back.

"Whatever it is sweetheart, you can tell me. We're suppose to share the bad as well as the good" Thea encouraged.

"Talking about it will not make me feel better or change anything. Please don't press me on this" Tori said moving Thea's hand from her shoulder. Walking a few paces with her hands in her pockets, Tori looked toward the house.

"I hate it when you do this. We can be a few inches a part, like now, but you're off some place that I can't reach. Stop shutting me out. You make me feel like I'm encroaching" Thea said to Tori's back. Then she walked pass her and headed toward the house.

"Thea! Baby wait!" Tori called and had to jog a few steps to catch up. She jogged backwards in front of the woman and only got her to stop by holding her arms.

"When you hurt - I hurt. At any given time you put up this barrier. Maybe ..."

"I don't mean to shut you out. But when we started to get serious, we agreed to keep the past in the past. I don't ..."

"But it's very much a part of the here and now" said Thea holding Tori's face in both her hands. Tori closed her eyes but when she opened them, Thea knew she still wasn't going to be told anything.

"You're impossible" Thea said tossing her arms in exasperation. Tori caught both of them and pulled Thea to her.

"One day I may be able to tell you. But not right now. We've been through this before, as you've said. It'll pass" Tori whispered against Thea's ear.

"I'll ask Mona to tell me" Thea barely got out before she was grabbed a little roughly. What she saw in Tori's eyes frightened her.

"Don't. Leave it alone" Tori said angrily and stormed off toward the house. This time it was Thea who called out but Tori didn't stop. Half an hour later, Thea went up to their bedroom and found Tori sitting on the window seat.

"What are you doing?" Tori asked when she finally acknowledged that Thea had entered the room. When she didn't get an answer, she walked over and took a blouse from the suitcase that Thea was packing.

"I'm going home. If you can change so much in one day - I'm not going to ..."

"Thea I'm sorry. Please don't leave."

"You frighten me Tori. And sometimes I feel like I don't know you at all" Thea said tossing clothes into the suitcase.

"Ah come on. I shouldn't have grabbed you but I didn't hurt you. I know I can be an ass, but you should know that I'd never intentionally hurt you. I love you. You're everything to me."

"I'm not afraid of you Tori. I'm afraid for you. Remember why we took this trip? We're suppose to be trying to save this very rocky relationship. But I see no chance for us if you won't be honest with me about something that is a major issue for you" Thea finished with a heavy sigh. She was hoping that Tori would finally break her silence and share what was obviously eating at her insides.

"I promise to tell you when we get back home. Tonight we'll have dinner with Mona and tomorrow we'll be back on the road. I'll tell you all of it - at home."

"You didn't sleep last night. I'm not sure you can last until tomorrow. You're wound so tight and being here has increased your sometimes stand-offish behavior. You ..."

"Okay. I've already admitted that I can be an ass and show my bad side. Am I really so bad that you don't want me anymore?"

"Oh no. Those baby doll eyes will not work this time" Thea said moving beyond Tori's reach. She backed stepped until she was against the door.

"Please stay" Tori said pressing herself against Thea and kissing her on the neck. Only after Thea's arms went around her neck did Tori's hands move lower to the hips.

"You don't play fair" Thea mumbled before her mouth was invaded by a probing tongue. They both jumped at at knock on the door.

Drawing apart, Thea straightened her blouse and Tori wiped lipstick from her lips. Isabel, standing in the hall, informed Tori that her grandmother wished to speak with her. As Tori started from the room, Thea stopped her and used a tissue to wipe lipstick smears from her face.

"I hope your friend doesn't mind me taking a little of your time. I've invited some of the family back for dinner this evening. Don't worry, neither of your parents will be here this time. Barbara and others from out of town will be leaving tomorrow. I spoke with Ramona this morning and she told me of your dinner plans tonight, but I talked her into joining us here. I hope you don't mind too much" Clara said speaking more quickly than she usually did. She was winded when she finished.

At dinner, Clara Brockman kept conversation flowing with questions. Whenever anyone tried to speak with someone else, she quickly directed everyone's attention to what she was saying. Her guest finally gave up trying to converse with anyone other than the hostess. Everyone thought Clara was just dreading the time she would be alone in the big house except for the staff, so was making the most of the gathering. However, Clara monopolized conversation so that nothing would be said to anger Tori. Her granddaughter was home and she wanted her stay as long as possible. After dinner, everyone except the children made a point of spending time with Clara, who was back on her throne in the living room. People were drifting around picking up sniplets of conversations, making a comment here and there as they waited for an appropriate time to leave. Thea and Mona were sitting to themselves on a small sofa near the back patio doors. Tori and Louise were in the hall sitting on the steps.

"I'm so glad you're here" Louise smiled. Eight months ago, she had received a graduation gift from her big sister. The package had no return address, but inside was a card signed 'love Tori' and a phone number. She called immediately but didn't make contact until the next day. The sisters had talked for nearly an hour. Tori invited Louise to Georgia for a visit. Louise was excited until her mother vetoed the plans.

Camilla Johnson had absolutely forbid her daughter from going to Georgia. Louise protested but her mother threatened to drop the payments on the used car she had received as a grad gift. Louise still wanted to see her sister even if it did mean riding the bus to work. But after she explained the situation, Tori told her not to jeopardize her relationship with her parents. Tori promised that she would stay in touch and she kept it. She accepted all of Louise's calls. The last time they spoke, a month ago, Tori had told her sister not to tell anyone that she was coming close to town. They were to meet just outside of town without anyone knowing about it. Louise's phone message of Herman Brockman's death brought Tori not only inside the city limits but back inside those walls.

"How's Tommy? Did he go through with the wedding?" Tori asked of her step-brother. Tommy, Henry's son from a previous marriage, was a year older than Tori.

"He married Cindy but I don't know how long it's going to last. She had a miscarriage two weeks ago and the only reason they got married was because of the baby. He's my brother and I love him but sometimes I don't like him.

"Doesn't sound like he's changed much from when we were kids. He was a spoiled brat who made trouble for me whenever he would come to the house. And would lie about the simplest thing."

"I don't see him that much. He comes by when he needs something from daddy. I think he was jealous of you. He sometimes would talk about you."

"I thought so too. That's why when we were kids, I use to let him come here with us. And he did begin to act a little better toward me. But something turned up missing and while my grandmother didn't openly accuse Tommy, she told me not to bring him around anymore. Tommy swore to me that he didn't take the camera, but I didn't believe him. And from that time on he stopped talking to me. Once I got a letter - actually it was only one line. He wrote 'Now you know what it feels like to be falsely accused.' I'm sure he didn't intend for it to, but it helped me a little at the time. He believed me", Tori said. For a mement or two, the sisters sat silently in their own thoughts. Louise wanted to ask questions but didn't think now was the appropriate time. But she did ask:

"Why didn't you let me know where you were before last year?"

"I was angry for a long time. I moved around a lot. And when I was stopped being angry, I decided to wait until you were old enough to make your own decisions. Probably most of what you were told about me was negative. At eighteen, I figured you were mature enough to ..."

"You're my sister and I hardly know you. But even so, I feel closer to you than people I've been around forever. I don't know how mature it is to allow mama to still tell me what to do. I wanted to see you ..."

"I know. And I want to thank you for letting me be a part of your life again."

"Excuse me for interrupting, but your grandmother wants you" Thea apologized from the doorway. The hugging sisters drew apart. Thea went toward the living room.

"She's gorgeous. Is she a model? She looks familiar?"

"She's a social worker. She use to model for some famous fashion designer. Excuse me. This shouldn't take long. Me and Grams don't have a lot to say to each other" Tori said standing, then bending to loosen the kinks. They went slowly toward the living room.

"Victoria dear, I was just telling Thea what a nice singing voice you had when you were younger. She said you still do, so will you sing something for us? Louise can accompany you on the piano."

"We have to perform for our supper" Tori said. She was about to refuse but Louise sat at the piano and asked for a request. Clara named an old church hymn and Louise ran her fingers across the keys several times before nodding for Tori to start. The older sister began singing softly and shortly after, Louise picked up the key but missed a few notes.

As Tori sang, her voice grew stronger. It had been a long time since she sang a church song. She closed her eyes and felt the words that came easily from memory. The words faded into a hum and at the close, she opened her eyes and acknowledged the applause with a nod. Sitting down at the piano she began to play a tune that Louise liked as a child. Louise sang along and though her voice wasn't as strong as her sister's they sounded good together. Tori said she would do only one more and toward the end, other voices blended with hers.

"That was wonderful. So you didn't give up your music. Tori could have been a classical pianist, but she suddenly became interested in swimming. Oh she was good at that too of course. Did Tori tell you that she ..." Louise was saying with pride until her eyes caught movement. It was Mona shaking her head. Her sister patted her on the shoulder and moved away from the piano. Thea, looking at the faces of all present, wondered what was so terrible that it still couldn't be talked about after ten years. At that moment, she knew the conflict went beyond Tori's sexuality.

"You should have brought Jamie" Tori told Mona a few minutes later on the patio. Her long legs were stretched out and crossed at the ankles.

"It's her day to be with one of her playmates. Do you have to leave tomorrow? You just got here" Mona said.

"Grandmother doesn't want anyone talking to me because someone might slip and make reference to my shameful and disgraceful past. Tell me something, do any of you mention me or talk about what happened when I'm not here?"

"We don't spend a lot of time together as a family. We're not as close as some people might think. Uncle Herman gathered us all here for holidays or some event he thought was important. They probably talked with each other, but knowing how close you and I were, they didn't around me. After you left, different ones asked where you were, but stopped because I had nothing to tell them. One day Louise called me and asked questions. Camilla wouldn't tell her anything. Why didn't you let me know ...."

Earlier, Thea had mentioned that she liked to paint, so Louise had taken her into the den to show Herman's African Art Collection. Thea was impressed by the carvings. At the patio door, they saw the two cousins talking earnestly, so they sat on the double seat just outside the door. Glancing occasionally they both wondered what Tori and Mona was talking about so seriously. Mona was leaning forward almost off her chair. Tori's ankles were still crossed but her knitted brow worried Louise, who couldn't keep her eyes off her sister.

"She's mad about something. I hope Mona doesn't say anything ..."

"She's not mad. That scowl means she's listening but not agreeing" Thea said.

"She's not at all like what I expected", Louise said almost to herself.

"What did you expect?"

"I was nine when Tori left town. Whenever I asked anyone about her, they told me I was too young to understand. When I was older mama said such bad things about Tori that I stopped asking. She went on and on about how Tori had it made being Uncle Herman's favorite. I've heard some of the other relatives talking about her. I think they were jealous. They said Tori could have had it all if - if ..."

"If she wasn't gay" Thea finished for her.

"She doesn't look or act - manly. I'm sorry" Louise apologized remembering to whom she was speaking.

"Not all of us are - manly."

"She's kind of pretty isn't she? She's rather graceful to be so tall" Louise said with wonderment as she watched her sister. Tori stood and stretched her arms over her head.

"She's okay" Thea shrugged as they walked toward the other two women.

"Who's okay?" Tori asked turning to see three pairs of eyes on her.

"Your kid sister here thinks you're kind of pretty and graceful. Of course she hasn't seen you in a while, so she has foggy eyes. I'm use to those dimples and smoldering eyes. To say nothing of ..."

"Then say nothing" Tori said with her arms folded. Thea took a couple of side steps, appraising her lover. Tori ignored her and sat down.

"In this light, she looks a little bit cute" Thea teased. Louise and Mona sat at the table laughing because Tori looked upset at being called cute. She didn't take that kind of compliment well. She'd never been been overly concerned about her looks.

"Why couldn't I have gotten a little more height and less weight?" Louise asked looking heavenward.

"Let's not start on the weight issue. Your chance of being the next glamour model is ..." Mona was saying.

"Slim" finished Louise. Everyone laughed but her.

"This girl finished high school with honors."

"Have you decided on a college major yet?" Tori asked her sister. Leaning forward with her elbows on the table, she had to wait seveal seconds before she got a reply.

"I have a summer job and might be able to take some classes in the Fall at the community college."

"Might?"

"Money. Or I should say lack of money. Her folks make just enought to make her ineligible for financial assistance" Mona volunteered the information.

"What did you want to major in?" Tori asked.

"Actually, I never decided between a teacher or a social worker. As it turned out, it doesn't matter much anyway" Louise said softly.

"So how much is it going to cost?" Tori asked. Mona tapped Louise on the arm urging her to reply. Finally, the youngest female at the table mumbled out some figures.

"You'll need a stronger voice than that dealing with people" Thea smiled.

"Hey, I'm offering to maybe pay your tuition if you want to go to college. Tell me what you want" Tori said placing her right palm up on the table. Shyly her sister placed her hand on it.

"I can start at the community college and finish at Mavrette."

"Okay. After you get everything set, call me, and I'll send you what you need."

"I'll pay you back every cent" Louise promised with tears in her eyes. Tori shaking her head stood up.

"Come here" Tori said. She drew her sister closer and brushed tears from the round cheeks. "You're my baby sister and I love you very much. I wasn't around during some of your growing up but I'm here now. And if you need anything, all you have to do is ask me. That doesn't mean that I'll give it to you. I only ask one thing of you - do what you think is best for you. Don't give up yourself to please me or anyone else. Just do the best you can in whatever you do" Tori told her. Louise nodded, pressed her head on Tori's chest and cried. Thea and Mona blinked back a tear themselves as they watched the contrasting sisters. One was tall and athletic looking while the other was short and stocky, both were attractive in their own way.

"Thank you. I'd better go wash my face. I'm bound for college and I'm crying like a baby" Louise said not sounding at all embarrassed for the water-works. Standing on tip-toes, she kissed Tori on the cheek before going toward the house.

"Well, you've just made that girl very happy" Mona smiled.

"What will it take to make you happy?" Tori asked.

"Money can't fix it."

"Good. Cause she's gonna be supporting me for the next few years" Tori said motioning at Thea. The look that passed between them had Mona wondering if they were having problems in the relationship.

"What?" Tori asked when Mona suddenly stood. For a moment or two the cousins eyes locked before Mona turned her head and looked out over the dark lawn beyond where the lights reached. With Tori's finger under her chin, Mona turned to face the inquiring eyes. Her mouth opened and closed but no words came out. She walked down the steps toward the pool.

"I'll go" Thea said and went after Mona.

As young girls and teens, Mona was Tori's closes cousin. They shared toys, clothing and dreams. Being so close, it was Mona who first noticed the change in Tori's behavior. One day, while visiting at this very house, Mona learned why Tori seemed secretive. She'd gotten a jacket from Tori's closet and found a letter in a pocket. Feeling a little guilty, but not enough, she read it and got the biggest shock of her young life. It was a love letter. A week later she confronted Tori, who didn't try to lie, and they became closer. That was the biggest secret that they'd ever shared. Less than six months later, everyone knew, not from Mona, and their lives suddenly changed. Now many years later, Mona was carrying something inside but wouldn't share it with her cousin. Tori, worried, watched as Thea talked with Mona. They were still talking when Louise came back smiling. When the other two joined them a few minutes later, Tori looked at Mona who had obviously been crying. But before anything was said, Thea shook her head, so Tori remained quiet and pensive. They talked about general things until Louise and Mona said good night and left.

"Are you going to tell me what you two were talking about over there?" Tori asked. She'd hoped that it wasn't about her for she wanted to be the one to tell Thea about her scandalous past.

"Relax honey, we didn't talk about you. Mona asked me not to tell you anything so stop asking me. I will say however, that I think we should stay a few more days" Thea said pulling Tori to her feet. Placing her companion's arms over her shoulders, she placed her own around Tori's waist. They moved easily to unheard music. Earlier, Thea had wanted to leave, now she wanted to stay and wouldn't say why. Thea refusing to say more, held Tori tighter which surprised her dance partner. Now Tori had something else to think about with Thea's breath on her neck. Months had passed without them making love. Tori was hoping that tonight ...

"Don't" Thea said removing a palm from her hip. She took a step away but Tori held her arm.

"Why do you keep pulling away?"

"Why can't we just dance without you pawing me?" Thea replied.

"Pawing you? I'm tired of this shit Thea. If you don't want me to touch you then stay away from me."

"I wanted to dance. Can't we be close without you trying to ...?"

"Damn it woman, if you only want to dance then don't stand so close and don't breathe on me. We haven't made love in weeks. I want you."

"Well, I still need more time. I'm not ready ..."

"The heck you're not. I feel you."

"We've been through this Tori. Yes, my body aches for you - and so does my heart. But I'm letting my head rule now. So until I know we're really together ..."

"Come on Thea. What's it gonna take to convince you that I love you - that I want you - only you?"

"Time. I want to trust you again. I need to know that I'm enough for you. That you love me enough to not screw some bitch just because - ugh!" Thea was saying before Tori grabbed her wrist.

"Listen to me. I've told you over and over that I never had an affair with Gloria. I kissed her once and that's all. I've apologized to you for that. I love you, but I'm getting tired of - (deep breath) - I don't know how to fix this situation" Tori said releasing the woman. She sat down covering her face with her hands. Thea sat down down across from her.

"You say you didn't do her, but she told me that you did. She had dates which so happened to match days when I was out of town. I know you had the hots for her before we got together. I saw you kiss her at her birthday party. It still hurts to think of you with her - touching her. Damn it Tori, I - I ..."

Tori's only response was to shake her head. They sat there for quite a while either looking at each other or off into the night.

=====PART 4
The next couple of days were strained. Tori and Thea barely spoke to each other. The guest relatives had gone back home. Every day a family member, from among the many that lived in town, would stop by to visit with Clara. Several just came because Clara was heir to a fortune.

"Your friend doesn't seem to like it here. Is she angry because I asked you to stay a while longer?" Clara asked her granddaughter one afternoon as they sat in the livingroom. Thea was upstairs laying down hoping to be rid of her headache by dinner time. "Mr Williams will read your grandfathers Will Sunday. Can't you stay until then?"

"If he left me anything, I don't want it" Tori said flipping through pages of an Ebony magazine.

"I don't know if he did or not dear. He did mention that you were the only one in the family who appreciated his African art collection. The others ..."

"I can't stay any longer Grams. Thea wants to leave and I can't let her go alone."

"I'm sure she can fly by herself. I'm asking you to stay because I want to spend some time with you. Is that asking too much from my only granddaughter?"

"I can't stay but ..."

"I've noticed that you two seem to be having a problem. Maybe you need some time a part. Haven't you heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder?"

"Separation is exactly what I'm trying to prevent. I can't stay. Maybe I'll get to come back for the holidays."

"Perhaps for my funeral" Clara said watching Tori's face and was glad to see the emotion that flashed across it. She motioned for Tori to come closer.

"You love her very much don't you? Then you go with her and come back for Thanksgiving or Christmas" Clara told her granddaugher.

Tori went for a walk and when she returned, her grandfather's lawyer was there. He asked Tori to join him in the den. Tori entered the panelled room and parted the heavy drapes to give the room more light. The lawyer was sitting on the edge of the desk. Tori crossed her arms and waited until she grew impatient.

"What is this about Mr Williams" Tori asked the balding, paunchy man in the dark suit. They had met many years ago when he had first become her grandfather's personal attorney. Tori was now slightly taller than him.

"Your grandmother told me that you wouldn't stay for the reading of your grandfather's last will and testament. I can't go into details, but I can tell you that you are a beneficiary. And it would help matters if you were here when I read ..."

"If grandfather left me the African art collection I don't want it."

"I knew you when you were a little girl running around with bows in your hair. Your grandfather was very proud of you. Oh I know things changed between you two and why. Of course you have every right not to accept whatever he left for you, but papers will have to be signed and other matters taken care of to settle the estate. If you were to stay, you ..."

"No."

"Perhaps you'll want to consult your own attorney before deciding anything."

"Look, I don't want it" Tori said opening the door and stepping into the hallway. Mr Williams cigar had filled the room with a stifling aroma.

"I suggest ..."

"No."

"Now listen here young lady ..."

"No. My grandfather can't mend what's been shredded for over a decade by leaving me a few pieces of wood."

"Those pieces of wood are beautiful carvings worth a lot of money. Your grandfather ..."

"No damn it. My grandfather can't buy me. Not then - not now. He knew where I was - and all he had to do was come. I waited - he didn't come. He sent a check but didn't come" Tori said angrily. She turned and saw her grandmother holding onto Thea's arm.

"I'm not staying" Tori said with her teeth closed. Clara released Thea's arm and walked slowly toward Tori. She clasped Tori's extended arm to steady herself and looked into eyes much like her deceased husbands.

"I've talked with Thea. She'll stay."

"We're leaving tomorrow. Look, I came for the funeral. He left me something to try to make up. Well it's too late for that. Maybe it eased his conscience but he's dead now. I ..." Tori said before Clara shook her arm and again asked her to stay. Tori looked over her elder's head and saw Thea nodding her head. She helped Clara to her room and took off the soft soled shoes.

"I know we hurt you. All of us ..."

"I'll stay" Tori said quietly. She left the room with her grandmother sitting by the window.

"Is your grandmother okay?" Thea asked when Tori entered the livingroom. The lawyer had departed and the house was quiet. Tori went to the bar and broke the seal on a bottle of whiskey.

"Do you want a drink?" Tori asked after swallowing the stinging liquid. Thea shook her head and watched Tori down another one.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Thea asked when another drink was poured. Tori drank then shook herself. Thea moved the bottle when Tori reached for it again.

"Excuse me Tori. You have a phone call from Mona" Isabel said from the doorway. Tori made no move, so Thea went to the phone in the hall.

"Hello Mona. This is Thea. Tori can't come to the phone right now."

"Jamie wanted to say good-bye to y'all" Mona said. She could tell that something was wrong, so she asked what was happening. Without going into it all, Thea told her that they were staying until Sunday. Before hanging up, Mona again invited them to dinner. So far they had not made it to her apartment. Thea said she would let her know.

"Come on sweetheart. I'll help you upstairs." Thea said taking the glass from Tori.

"Now I'm sweetheart."

"Habit" Thea said placing an arm around Tori's back.

"I can do it myself, I'm not drunk" Tori said when Thea started to unbutton her shirt. She sat on the side of the bed and kicked her shoes off.

"Jamie wanted to say goodbye. I told Mona we were staying until Sunday. Tori we don't have to if you really want to leave."

"So now you want to leave?"

"I'll do whatever you want" Thea said. At the moment she didn't know if that was the right thing to say. She felt that it would be better if they left, for Tori was keyed up. But maybe this was where Tori needed to be right now. Some unresolved thing from the past was keeping her edgy. And if they left now, it might never truly end. Thea wished she knew the beginning, then perhaps she'd be able to decide better. She knew that Tori would leave if she left.

"Why do you think it's so necessary for you to be here when the will is read?"

"I don't know. Maybe my grandfather fixed it so that they had to bring me back or else everything would go to charity. Why wait until Sunday to read the will? I don't know and frankly ..."

"You don't give a damn" Thea finished as she pulled Tori's slacks off.

"Exactly" Tori said tossing her bra before getting under a top sheet. She watched Thea undress and slide into bed beside her. Tori turned on her side.

"Stop staring and go to sleep. You need to rest. You slept badly last night. Was it that same dream?" Thea asked. When Tori didn't answer, Thea turned her back to the woman. She held her breath when Tori touched her bare shoulder before sliding the cover down to her waist. Warm fingers caressed her back, soft lips kissed her shoulder."

"No. Go to sleep" Thea whispered when her neck was licked. She sighed inaudibly when Tori moved away from her.

"I love you Thea" Tori whispered and it took much will power for Thea not to turn and pull the woman to her. But because of a promise that she had made to herself, she didn't move."

Sunday finally came and Clara wanted to go to church. Tori borrowed a a skirt and blouse from Thea and they both went with her. They ignored the people who whispered about them while the choir sang. After the service, the whisperers were the first to come over to shake hands. When they arrived home, Mr Williams was waiting. He joined them for lunch and then everyone gathered in the den for the reading of the will. Mr Williams said a few words and then put a video tape in the tape player. Herman Brockman spoke to his family. Halfway through the video, Tori left the room, took the stairs two at a time and was closing a suitcase when Thea entered the bedroom. The night before they had packed except for personal items.

"Are you okay?" Thea asked.

"Let's go" Tori said moving toward the door with their luggage ignoring her grandmother's call. Thea followed the fast walking woman out of the house to the car. Tori tossed the luggage in the trunk and climbed behind the steering wheel.

"I'd better drive" Thea said because Tori was gripping the wheel so tight. Both got out and walked around the back of the car. As they passed each other, Thea held out an arm to stop Tori who had a dazed look in her eyes. It was a look Thea had seen before from the woman who kept so much of herself locked away. Because of what Herman had said on the video, she thought she understood her moody partner a little better. But there were still questions that she wanted anwered. And she would insist that Tori tell her everything.

"Where are you going?" Thea asked from the driver's seat. Instead of getting in the car, Tori was walking back toward the house with a determined stride. Thea followed her into the livingroom.

"Who is my mother? Where is she?" Tori asked her father. Those were the first words she had said to him since her return to town. He had been arguing with the lawyer and turned to find his daughter only inches away. Their eyes were the same in color and intensity. No love flowed from either. They were like strangers.

"We need to sit down and talk about several things. Let's go into the den" Joseph Brockman said to his daughter who was only a couple of inches shorter than his tall frame. He took a step toward her. She took a step back.

"Just tell me what I want to know" Tori said and it was obvious that she was trying to control her anger. When her father didn't respond, she turned to her grandmother.

"I'm sorry Victoria that you found out this way. I had no idea Herman had left a video tape for you" the elderly woman said holding open her arms but Tori remained where she was standing. Tori looked at the woman who wasn't her mother. Camilla looked relieved.

"Now I understand why you never loved me. I was a daily reminder of your husband's infidelity."

"I recented having to care for you while he was still running around with other women" Carmilla admitted.

"Did you get any satisfaction when you learned that he'd produced a queer?" Tori asked the woman with whom she had never been close. They stared at each other and then Carmilla walked out, followed closely by Mr Williams. Carmilla left the house but Mr Williams went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. He couldn't leave until Tori signed some papers. If she left without signing, he didn't think he would ever see her again.

"Tell me about my mother" Tori said calmly.

"No. She gave you up when you were two years old" Clara replied.

"Why? Why did she give me up?"

"Your mother was young. She couldn't take care of you properly, so she agreed to let your father raise you. He could provide you with a stable home and a ..."

"Tori! Stop Tori!" Thea screamed as the now angry women pushed over an end table and kicked a flower vase that was cushioned by the plush carpet. As Thea moved forward, Tori lifted a fallen ashtray from the carpet and threw it across the room. It shattered in the fireplace."

"It's mine! Every piece of wood, brick and glass is mine. I can smash it all!" Tori said loudly picking up another object to throw. Thea pulled her arm down and removed the snowflake paperweight from her grasp.

"Let's get out of here right now. You need some fresh air and time to think about what you going to do" Thea told Tori trying to lead the woman from the room. But Tori pulled away and went to her father who was sitting at the bar. He looked rather calm considering his daughter was in a smashing mood. Tori sat on a bar stool, poured herself a drink and stared at him.

"Until now I've never asked you for one damn thing. Can't you for once just act like my father? I want to know about my mother."

"She had no interest in seeing you years ago so why bother with her now. She ...."

"Damn it - give me her name" Tori said with her lips barely moving. When Joseph shook his head, Tori took another drink before leaving the room, the house, the people whose blood she shared.

"Leave me alone Thea. I need to be by myself" Tori said sitting on the side of the motel bed. She was holding a glass and the bottle of whiskey she had taken from the house.

"I'm not going to leave you alone. Give me the bottle. You don't need it" Thea told Tori reaching for the bottle. Tori took a drink and poured another one.

"Yeah I do need it. I want to pass out so that I don't have to think or - or feel anything."

"Stop shutting me out Tori. Hold me instead of that bottle. Have me. Let me help you pass out" Thea said kneeling in front of the woman who she had never seen look so fragile. She pulled the woman to her wanting to ease the pain she saw in the misty eyes.

"She gave me away at two. They gave me away at seventeen."

"I want you" Thea told her softly.

"You taste better than this" Tori said when Thea's lips left hers. Thea took the glass and bottle to the dresser. She walked back toward the bed unzipping her dress in route. Standing in front of her lover, she let the dress drop and unhooked her bra while her panties were being removed. With Tori's hands on the back of her thighs, she leaned forward until Tori's right ear was on her belly button. She held her lover's head gently until she felt tears on her skin. Easing the woman backward, she straddled the Tori's waist and looked down upon the sad face.

"I love you Tori. Baby I love you."

With both hands Thea stroked the full brows before kissing the closed eyes. Sliding downward until she was laying atop Tori, she wondered how she'd went weeks without her lover's touch. Fool, she thought and tried to make up for lost time as well as make Tori forget her pain for a while. For a while.

"Are you awake?" Tori asked hours later. Thea replied by rolling over and into her lover's arms. They kissed tenderly before Thea rested her head on Tori's chest.

"Want to go out for dinner?"

"No. I just want to lay here holding you" Tori replied. Thea put another her pillow behind her head. Tori sat between Thea's thigh's with her legs draped across Thea's right leg. As at other times when in this position, Thea pulled gently at Tori's two chest hairs, which caused Tori to snuggle more into her neck.

"Are you going to look for your mother?" Thea inquired after thinking about bringing up the topic. But she knew Tori was thinking about it anyway and maybe it would ...

"You don't think I should?"

"I'm concerned about how you'll handle it if - you could be asking for more heartache."

"I know. If I'd known about my birth mother last week I probably wouldn't have cared enough to fine her. And I don't know how I'll feel next week about this, but right now, I need to find her."

"You're hurting and ..."

"Somebody in this family must know. If I sent for my birth certificate it would take time to get it. Even with a name, it could take some time to track her down if she's not here."

"If she doesn't want to be found - just remember that Louise and Mona love you. And I'm sure that little Jamie loves you too."

"Let's see that's - three and possibly four people that love me. That's not too bad for thirty-one years of life. It was okay to include you in the count wasn't it?" Tori asked sounding more serious than she should. Thea leaned away from her and saw that her lover's face was serious.

"Excuse me but didn't I not only say so, but showed you as well?"

"Maybe it was a sympathy f ..."

"Don't. Your mouth can get very dirty sometimes. It's a wonder that I want to kiss it at all. If you can't tell the difference ..."

"Do you love me Thea?"

"You doubt it?"

"Do I love you Thea?"

"You'd better."

"Heart, mind, body and soul."

"I'm sorry for the way I behaved earlier today. I almost lost it."

"Almost?"

"Yeah. I wanted to see how they would react. They barely flinched."

"Seeing what kind of family you grew up with I can understand why you're a bit quirky" Thea half-smiled and that faded quickly when she saw a worried look come over her lover's face.