LASTY ENTREATY

My dear Father -- please no.
I've prayed and pleaded for it not to be so.
In desperation I call to you -- hear my voice.
It is not my choice.
The fear -- the doubt
Did you not hear me shout.
Please don't cast me out.

Last night
I surrendered to the call of the wild.
And fed the beast it's needed flesh.
But in the light
I am again your child.
It's a new day -- let me start fresh.
Breathe on me with your holy breath.
Change me -- save me from eternal death.
I bow to you -- I feel you.
Why can't I hear you?

It started the day of my birth.
When I took my first breath on this earth.
Why did you let the fallen angel kiss my feet?
Is this to be my fate
A life of lies and deceit, scorn & hate?
Is his mark hidden on me
Some place that I can't see?
Take a moment -- touch me
Remove it -- hear my plea.
I'm so sorry!
I stumbled off the right track.
Have I fallen so far away
That you won't take me back?

I will not live in shame or fear.
I will not turn away love
When it comes near.
I will not call or bow to you again.
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NOTE: For about a month, in my teens, I did have several conversations with God in Heaven about changing me. They talk about just ask God to be healed, well I asked, waited and there was no change -- except in my understanding. There is nothing wrong with loving and sharing yourself with someone. God doesn't turn away from us -- we turn away from Him when we don't accept that we are okay the way HE made us.