TOMORROW

For nights I don't sleep
And when I do
I awake shaking
With this body aching for you
Into my pillow it's your name I scream
Because again you've invaded my dream
My thoughts are cloudy and confused
I'm a lost soul
My mind is tormented and bruised
Bodiless voices whisper -- it's wrong
I fight the feeling -- but it's so damn strong
My sheets are wet with tears and sweat
To a dark ceiling sky I cry
WHY?

As a storm rages outside my window
And in my heart
I pound my chest silently screaming
It's the wrong part
Lighting flashes
My body thrashes
My resolve crashes
I'm alone
Will I always be
No joyful future do I see
What does tomorrow hold for me?
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NOTE: This was written long ago. The why is -- why is it wrong to like girls. Over the years, there have been times when I've had that aching feeling, and times when I have awakened with a smile because of a very nice dream. Sometimes the storm rages in my heart from not being able to be with a woman I like and who likes me. But some women just can't step over that invisible line, or will but cross back. Dang, it would be nice to have a gay bar in this town. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only single lesbian in this town.

NOTE: Some of these writings of mine I wasn't going to post, but after reading so many post from women/girls just now dealing with this issue, I'm putting it all on my blog. And maybe it will help someone, who feel like they are the only one experiencing wonder and pain. --Salty