Hi Readers - It has been almost a year since I've posted something new to SPT. Last year was an awful year for me. My mother passed, a cousin passed, and I was diagnosed with Cancer. I miss my mom. At times it still seems unreal that she is not here with me. I've never really been sick enough to see a doctor but only once and that was when I was a kid. Last year I was in the hospital twice - the first time I stayed four days and the second time I had surgery and went home the same day. My mom had several health problems and the way she dealt with it prepared me for dealing with my health situation. I think my being with her gave her strength and kept her positive up until old age finally wore her down and she was ready to go. I am my mother's daughter. I can deal with this Cancer in my body. Before I even went to find out what was wrong with me I just looked skyward and asked to not be in pain -- and so far I have not been. I am mentally strong and my body is still strong if a little slower.

Since this is a lesbian theme blog I of course have to say something about women. I just like talking to women. I have not lost my gift of getting women to talk to me since there are numerous things that women talk to each other about. Recently I met a woman that I would like to ask out on a date but I will not. Right now I do not have the physical energy to pursue a romantic relationship. It is enough that I can still enjoy just talking to her casually. She hugged me once and said that she loves me. I've been getting more hugs lately and people tell me that they love me. And not all of them are family members. I appreciate the affection and glad that people feel comfortable to express that they care about me. I'd rather have it shown to me while I'm still here to enjoy it.

For my readers who are interested, I'm on Chemotherapy. So far I do not need radiation. I have lost my hair but it will grow back. Well, that's the update for now. Love yourself and let your light shine. Take care everyone.

Are You Blooming?

Each women has her own journey and choose the road she takes - but - I don't get how it could be easier for a lesbian to be with males and harder to be with females romantically sexually.

I don't dwell on the thought that some females in my past put me last and chose to be with a man. They actually put themselves last. I've read a lot of post by women who try to explain why they denied their attraction to females and went as far as getting with men. I accept it, as I do most things, that the past still has an affect on me with women I meet now - many of whom spent their adult life with men but now want to be with a woman.

Is all that "confusion" and "denial" gone and are they really ready for a relationship with a woman? Back when I was younger, it didn't bother me much that a woman who liked me got with a man. Then I went through one or two long periods of not wanting to date women that had been with men because if I wasn't good enough then - then I'm not good enough now - but for them I will do now that they want to give women a try.

Well, now I'm at a stage in my life where I want to start dating again but women I meet still have issues to do with men and children and parents and religion which I don't want to deal with. It is draining trying to get to know a woman who is attracted to me but still can't seem to allow herself to be herself. I really don't feel like I have lost women to men but have lost women to their self denial. It just takes too much energy so this woman is done with playing girlish games. Where are the dang women?

Answer: Still with men but flirt with women OR single but still not ready to openly date a woman.

It is Spring so you should be blooming.