Scientist can't cure Cancer and other deadly diseases but time and money are used on trying to discover a gay gene. Well, here I am -- a walking, thinking, talking -- gay gene. Touch me -- I exist. I don't need scientific verification of my existance. I had a girlfriend when I was 10 years old. I know, I've posted that before, I'm not bragging, but I'm trying to make it clear that I just didn't one day decide that I am a lesbian. I was one before I knew there was a word to describe my feelings - my sexuality. Now if a heterosexual christian reads this, after receiving google alert lesbian, I have no doubt that a scowl would transform the face. And thoughts like -- aha! see messing around too young and .... Yeah, too early, but why is it considered cute if a boy & girl are boyfriend & girlfriend at ten. Anyway, yes too young since we did a bit more than kiss, but that's my past. And I'm thankful that I came through it without too much damage done. (I think it's a form of child abuse for parents to tell a child they are wrong to be homosexual. Or make it very clear that they never want a child to tell them that they are gay. And the other nasty things that parents allow to "cure" the child.) I'm so glad I understood myself at an early age and was strong enough not to give myself away. And that I didn't try to cram myself into a mold that I couldn't fit into comfortably. I know some women did and some still are. Yeah, we gays have a choice, to be true to ourselves or misshape ourselves just to be accepted by others. (I know, some didn't know there was another option because of heterosexual programming.) I live in this world and I know the stigma that goes with being gay or suspected of being gay. And I know the mentality behind the nastiness, that keeps homophobia/bigotry alive. If we're relatively happy, working, in a good relationship then that extinguishes the lie that gays are not normal. I exist - I am unique. I don't need anyone else to validate who I am.~~~~~~
The other day I saw a documentary about Chris Evert, the tennis champ. Her parents didn't want her to get a divorce and her father stopped talking to her. Heterosexuals get crap from their parents too, when they don't do what the parents want them to do. I can imagine what her dad thought when Chris went to visit her friend Martina Navratilova. On that visit Chris met her next husband.
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It's very irritating to hear or read a heterosexual say gay people make the choice to be gay. Just because some heterosexuals fall in love or lust with someone of the same gender and make the choice to enter a physical relationship with someone who is gay is not necessarily a gay person. And there should be nothing wrong with adults making that decision. Just because some homosexuals are influenced to not accept their sexuality doesn't mean they are not gay. People are sexual beings. We can't really control who we have feelings for. But we should be able to share ourselves with another adult without it being thought of as wrong to the point of denying equal rights. Now if a "gay gene" was found, would the government then make it universal law that homosexuals should be treated the same as heterosexuals and provided the same legal rights? How about the scientist, the government, and others PROVE I'm not gay.
Hey Salty,
ReplyDeleteGreat blog and great stories! I love this post because it is so so true.
You know I actually read from some minister or pastors website that the reason why gay people don't come out or why we hide who were are is because of the innate shame we feel and that we know deep down that being gay is against God.
I was like what the heck? So I guess it has nothing to do with homophobia, fear of not being accepted or worse being disowned by family and friends, ignorance or any of the other things that can happen.
I am a lesbian and I am a Christian (if you check out some of my older blogs you will see there were well-meaning Christians who sought to save my soul who argued that I was not a Christian because I am gay). The fear that straight Christians have is that they have been carrying the banner that homosexuality is an abomination...it's unnatural (not that that stops them from wearing their best weave, acyclic nails and faux everything to church on Sunday) and if it is proven that there is a gay gene...then where does that leave them? I could go on and on here, but for them ignorance is bliss.
I agree with you, I don't need validation or approval from anyone to be who I am or to love who I love.
Hi pinkchocolatesunshine. Thanks for stopping by. Your handle makes me smile everytime I read it. Come on by any time and write what you feel. I enjoy reading your blog. Keep writing.
ReplyDeleteHeterosexuals would prefer that we stay invisible but the more positive exposure we get the more they see that we are not "freaks". And the ones who are still "in" learn that they are not alone and can have productive happy lives. Those who oppose us can't win forever because they don't have exclusive rights to God.
I agree! Yes we need positive exposure. I think the media can make us appear oversexed and like people who just sleep with anyone, any time. Sometimes I wished I lived in a world where I could hold my gfs hand anywhere and not be looked at strange. I get swept away in the L word sometimes because it seems like a different world...a world where being a lesbian is a non-issue.
ReplyDeleteHi pinkchocolatesunshine. I don't watch much tv now. I didn't get showtime until the 4th season. The L-Word was fun at first just to see women in relationships together. One good thing about the L-Word is that it showed lesbians living and loving, in relationships -- platonic and romantic just like everybody else. One reason why I got upset at the show was because of the infidelity, cheating on girlfriends and friends. What I liked about Shane was her attitude toward her friends. We know she had commitment issues because of her childhood, but to have her cheat with a close friend's girlfriend, that just reenforced the sterotype that women stabbed each other in the back and gays just have sex without feelings being above the belt.
ReplyDeleteWhere I live, I don't see many men & women holding hands, so maybe it's just plain jealousy seeing a gay couple displaying affection by simply holding hands. Wouldn't it be great if we could just focus on relationships and not have to put so much energy into worrying about the negative attitudes?
Hi Salty
ReplyDeleteMy experience of other peoples view of my sexuality makes me laugh. The number of times I have been asked "when did you know you were gay", or "when did you decide to be gay", "did something happen to you as a child to make you gay".. and other such shite!
I always ask back "when did you decide to be heterosexual" Usually I get a quizzical look as if I am speaking in tongues! LOL
Other peoples ignorance and fear of difference (to themselves)is difficult to negotiate at times.. but the old saying 'be true to yourself' is the only way I can live. If 'they' find the queer gene.. so what.. I'm short sighted too.. the eugenics movement would have lots to get me on!
Lemon
Hi Lemon. People don't really want to educate themselves. They go with the stereotypes that are still out there about us - not all lesbians are masculine and not all gay men are effeminine. And there are even more variety in the LGBT community. I think in this age of computers, it's silly for people to act like they are so unaware of us. I think it's weird when someone says they don't know any gay people. Not everyone fits the stereotype or thinks that is necessary to announce their sexuality, so a family member, neighbor, co-worker, cashier, etc could be other than heterosexual. If you can't tell by looking, then we can't be too much different. We should be beyond assuming that everyone is heterosexual.
ReplyDelete