TOP TEN LESBIAN MYTHS

Hi Readers. The top ten lesbian myths list can be found at:
http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/comingoutadvice/tp/LesbianMyths.htm
I decided to comment on each.
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1. All lesbians hate men.
I don't hate anyone. I would think that a woman that has been in a bad relationship with a man wouldn't like that particular man. I heard an actress say that if her marriage to her husband ended, she would give Ellen D a call. And I read where a hetero-woman after being in one bad relationship after another with men, was going to date women. It is those type of attitudes that cloud the issue of what it means to be a lesbian. Being a lesbian is not a pass-time thing I do because I can't get a man. I don't want a man. I'm single at the moment and maybe for the rest of my life (with a women floating in & out), but I would never say or think that I'll be with a man because I've had a bad relationship with a woman or because it will be accepted by society.

2. Lesbians (especially butch lesbians) want to be men.
I don't consider myself fem or butch. I'm a woman. I have no desire to be a man. When I was a kid, I was an athletic girl (not tomboy). I like women in dresses or pants or nothing at all. HA! I've recently saw a woman in a what would be called a man's suit. She looked good. I was looking. I don't wear dresses because I feel more comfortable in pants. Clothes do not make the woman. If lesbians wanted to be men -- then we would still be homosexual -- two male wannabes. Think about it.

3. You Can't Know if You're a Lesbian Unless You Sleep with a Woman
Sleep with? Um, I think something else has to be done before sleeping. If that's true, then that is for every woman. (If a woman wants to test that - E me. Ummmm, wait - I stopped doing that - being someone's experiment.) Some women knew they were attracted to females before puberty. I knew before I was thirteen but didn't know the word. My body tells me I am sexually attracted to only women. I experimented with males, but my body just wouldn't let me do more than a hand job on my boyfriend. I couldn't get anything from a kiss or a hand to my breast, so why go further.

4. Lesbians are attracted to all women.
There are different kinds of attraction. Since this is about lesbians, and everything that has to do with being a lesbian has of course to do with sex (according to some people), we mean sexual attraction. I don't want to have sex with every woman that I see. When would I ever get anything done. (That would make lesbians super-human.) And being attracted to ALL women, would include my mother, aunt and female cousins.

5. Being a lesbian is a choice and can be changed.
My choice is to not pretend that I am heterosexual. That's not to say that lesbians who marry/date men choose to lie. People do have choices and sometimes the path chosen is the right one at the time. Particularly when the path taken is the only path available. Some of us have to hack through the bramble and make our own path. I don't mind not being on the mainstream. It's crowded. I prefer the more scenic route along the creek, where nature is wild, naturally beautiful.

6. Lesbian relationships are all about sex.
Heterosexual male fantasy. And sometimes mine.

7. Lesbians just haven't met the right man yet.
I haven't met the right woman yet. But I've met some fine ones.

8. You can tell a lesbian by how she looks.
HA! If I made wishes ... I would like to be able to tell other lesbians just by looking. It sure would make it easier for me.

9. One lesbian in a relationship has to be 'the man'.
Everything just has to be put in the hetero-way of thinking. Male & female. Domination and submission. And I know what some are thinking, so I'll not skip it. Why do lesbians use strap-ons or a male phallus if they don't want men? Because the female body is designed that way. But the female body is not just a birth canal or to give males pleasure.

10. Lesbians and Gays can't be spiritual.
Being spiritual or religious is a personal thing. Being homosexual has nothing to do with whether someone believes in God or the Devil or leprecauns.

It's interesting to me that heterosexuals talk about gay peoples sexuality but rarely mentioned love and the heart. And that's what I have trouble figuring out. If hetersexuals know what desiring or really loving someone feels like, then why is it so hard for them to understand desire and love. If they truly know that feeling, then why would they want to deny anyone else that. I'm a lesbian. I am not, have never been sexually attracted to a man. I desire and love women. Should I pass that up simply because some men and women don't approve. And I would ask any hetero-male/female what makes them think they have more of a right to love/sex who they have passion for. And religion is not a good enough response. There are many people who are not religious. And for one human to tell another human that they are wrong for not believing in a higher entity, then I would ask -- how do you know that there is a higher power? Worshipping a Being that you have never seen is comparable to someone saying they saw a flying saucer. Why should either person be believed without proof? Why should either person be ridiculed without proof?