Not Just My Story

I can't seem to write much about the women in my past except in the form of a poem. It's easier to write little tidbits about the guys and maybe it's because they didn't really matter. I tell myself that the women don't matter either, but that's obviously not true since I'm still concerned about protecting their reputations. My story is not just my story.

At times I think that I shouldn't have posted the one about my Mom or about my friend. Would my friend feel like I betrayed her in some way by making it public how I feel about her even though she has only been a friend to me? Sometimes I think I tell too much and other times I think I'm too vague and that people will not understand the poems. Sometimes I feel like I'm way outside the loop of the lesbian culture. I saw the movie "I Am Legend" the other day onDemand. The thing that got me with that story was the isolation he felt. There were other people in the city but they were all the same kind -- and even though he was the "normal" one, he was the odd one." That's pretty much how I've felt my whole life -- like the odd one. But I also think I'm lucky because I knew myself early and had the strength to not settle for "normal" according to hetero-standards.

I've read post by women who settled or wonder if they should settle for "normal". When I read post like that, I hope those women will read some of my poems and know that on my side of the road, it maybe lonely at times, but it's possible to be happy being what you really are to the core. So, if one person reads anything here that makes them feel better about themselves, then it was worth opening myself up a little and letting people peek inside.

My story is just one, and even though I haven't found my other half yet, I've linked to other blogs that have lez women who are in relationships. Reading their stories keep me hopeful, so maybe it will inspire other women who haven't found their other half yet. Life is never dull.