ALWAYS

It is with great care
That I write these words to you
For your eyes only
For your heart only
From me to you
Only

I have been chatting on-line with
Women who love women
Some are married and confused
One use to be married to a man
But is now married to a woman
Who is a 5'4" darling butch
Another is a teen questioning
Why do people look strangly at a girl who likes another girl

I have been reading about
Women who love women
Women who are like me
As far back as the 1800's (and farther)
Women have dared to love openly
Or dared to love discreetly

Married women -- single women
Women loving women

I write these words to you
I LOVE YOU
As a friend
But I also am
IN LOVE WITH YOU
Since I've met you
There is not a day that goes by
That I don't think of you
Not one

I ask no more from you than you can give
Only your friendship
I want you in my life
EVEN if it is only
To hear your voice for a few minutes
And to have an occassional breakfast/lunch together
Do not think I am mentally undressing you
When we are together
For I do not
I can't even touch you in my dreams

This feeling in my heart for you is real
It's deep
It's painful
BUT
I rather feel the pain than not feel anything
For too long I have felt numb

I want to see you
To talk to you
I don't want to scare you away

A web-friend said I should tell you
Offer a massage
See how you respond

I know you had a life before meeting me
I know you have men who want you
I know that men have touched you
In ways that I never can
I know that you have men that you flirt with
I know that you have men that you kiss

I'd rather not -- but I think I will
Go on-line and try to meet someone
Someone like me
Close by
Someone who wants
LOVE

I only write these words to you now
Because even if I can never say
I LOVE YOU
Face to face
I need to say/write them.

If you don't know by now
Even before reading this
How I feel about you
That means that you don't want to know
Fine -- it's fine
But can we still be
FRIENDS?

Always YOUR friend
Even if
You no longer want to
Be MINE.