I too went through a brief time where I was questioning why me. Why can't I be like everybody else. Of course, I was young then, hence, trying a boyfriend. But I wasn't happy and saw no reason to be with someone, giving him sexual pleasure (hand jobs), and not getting anything out of it. A male sexual touch is annoying. I like some guys and would actually like to spend some quality time with some, however, I've found that the few males I know, don't want to be with me if they can't have me. However, some guys still like to stand close or put their arms around me. And that's okay, as long as they don't cross that line. No, I don't dislike males in general, I just DON'T want them sexually. And I refuse to fake it just because some people don't approve.
Now back to women. A woman can smile and I feel that more than a male hand holding mine. I can feel a woman's hand holding mine, but not a male kiss. A woman's kiss, I can feel, but not a male hand on my breast. And I've only once had a male hand inside my pants and that was against my will. No, I wasn't raped, just a guy grabbing. But I have had a guy to tell me that he could (and he could have) but he was scared of my Mom. Thank goodness. The trouble a girl can get into just trying to get from one stage of life to the other.
There's not a man alive who could ever appreciate your sensitivity and sexuality. You are exactly where and who you need to be. And you are wonderful@@
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